September 4, 2009

Background: Selena Gomez is on this show, Wizards on Waverly Street or something. I really don't know how she made it into my subconcious. Charles Miner, aka Idris Elba, was a brief tool on the Office, but now he's gone. Summer Roberts aka Rachel Bilson is from the OC and Lorelai and Rory are the fictional mother/daughter team from Gilmore Girls

Reason: Pop culture obviously plays way too big a role in my life

Dream: I was walking through a harem and Rory wanted to introduce herself to Charles Miner's family because she thought he was going to marry her mom. Lorelai found her and was like "what a re you doing in a harem?" and Rory said "meeting my new family and Lorelai said "Oh jk, I'm not going to marry him."

Then I kept walking and I went to a random house to fill up my water gun from the hose. There was a plaque on the dorr that said "This house is in no way affiliated with Selena or Demi" and I was like "wtf" and then Selena Gomez came running out and was like "Stop stalking me, paparazzi!"

At some point in the dream Summer was driving her BFF Marissa somewhere and she kept speeding but then her foot got caught on the gas pedal and she started careening all over the place.

Then I was at law school and my assignment was to put a tick in my arm, pull it out, squish it and examine the insides. Instead, I did it to my mom and it turned her arm all black.

Then I woke up.

Renee.

September 3, 2009

Background: Bring it On is a mediocre movie about cheerleaders and Neil Patrick Harris is an ultra-fabulous actor who does not have any children, as far as I know

Reasons: Lots of hummus before bed; watching half of Bring it On

So this dream is being remembered very disjointedly because I took too long before I started to write it down. I don't remember the order of events, but I will present them in a non-chronological order.

Dream: I was babysitting for Neil Patrick Harris's children, who incidentally were a pair of kids I babysit for here in Canada. I decided to go out to get a slurpee and then I saw, as I was walking down a trail, that NPH was arriving back to the house, where I had left the children! I rushed back but kept being obstructed by things like plantlife. I don't remember whether or not I got back. I think he might have left again.

I feel like my soul mate Zachary Quinto may have made a brief cameo around this point, as he often does, but I don't really remember when or what he was doing.

At some other point in the dream, there was this very bright light that one had to look at. My old art teacher was there and she was saying "Tell me what word you see." The word was "hobbit". Later Missy and Torrence from Bring it On were having a contest to see who could read the words first. Torrence tried to distract Missy by complimenting her cleats, but Missy still saw the words first, which were "Finding Neverland."

Then I woke up.

Renee.

September 2, 2009

Background: A minesweeper is a boat that would go around during the wars and deactivate underwater mines. You know, like in the computer game, but with higher stakes.

Reasons: Not enough sleep the night before; recently finished the Caine Mutiny (a book about a minesweeper)

Dream: I was on this floating cabin with a bunch of people and there were all these underwater mines that we could kind of see. The ones that blow up if anything hits them. Anyways, we were all like "Oh, we shouldn't touch those" but THEN some stupid person threw their baby in the water so I had to dive in after it and grab it before it touched the mine. Then I was trying to swim and there were mines everywhere! Luckily, I could breathe underwater. Finally I was able to haul myself into some shoreside brambles (we were suddenly near the shore.) 

I remember there being a lot of Christmas decorations but I don't know why.

Then I woke up.

Renee.

September 1, 2009

Background: The characters mentioned - Ben, Lauren and Duff - are all from a reality program on the Food Channel called Ace of Cakes. Note: Ben is VERY attractive

Reasons: Pizza before bed; watching lots of Ace of Cakes; pathological phobia or sharks/whales/things that swim beneath me.

Dream: I was doing a summer internship at the Ace of Cakes bakery with my friend. Duff informed us that we were going to be fired to make way for six young interns but that we could go on one last delivery.

Some people wanted a cake delivered to a boat in the middle of the ocean. They requested that Ben do the delivery. A bunch of us got into a speedboat and sent Lauren onto a mostly submerged bridge with the cake. She had to crawl across the bridge to make the delivery because Ben didn't feel like it. She was halfway across the bridge when a Mary-Alice voiceover began.

Mary-Alice: So, the people who ordered the cake, it turned out, hated the Navy, and since Ben was an ex-Navy Seal (*not true) they requested him so that they could set killer whales on him. When Lauren was halfway across the bridge I guess they released the whales on him.

(Side note: killer whales, in the dream, were not orcas, but basically just regular sharks that Mary-Alice was calling whales. I guess she didn't know, since she wasn't there.) 

So then all these fins started swimming towards Lauren, who was blonde, and she was like "AAHH." All the interns and me fell in the water. I was swimming back to the boat but then Ben was like "Jesus, Renee, rescue the interns." So I had to go back for them.

Then we got back to the bakery and I didn't know if I was still fired.

Then I woke up. 

Renee.

August 31, 2009

WARNING: Gory

Background: Jay Brannan is a singer (jaybrannan.com) and the Jesse James I speak of takes the form of Brad Pitt.

Reasons: Salsa before bed; watching The Assassination of Jesse James; listening to a lot ofJay Brannan.

Dream: Jay Brannan and I were on an unnamed Caribbean Island perfecting a formula we had been working on. Then we went back to Jay Brannan's loft, which was above a convenience store. We tested out the formula and - it worked! We were now able to turn trivial pursuit wedges into diamonds!

We began transforming them and heard a commotion from the store downstairs. We sat on the stairs and watched as Jesse James entered with some of his honchos and demanded the formula. The poor befuddled store clerk didn't know what was going on! Then Jesse James lined him up next to a human sized gumball machine and sawed off the clerk's head and limbs (damn salsa). He inserted the head into the glass case and used the arms as dispensers. The legs acted as a stand.

Needless to say, Jay Brannan and I FREAKED OUT and hopped onto our twin firebolts and attempted to fly out the upstairs window.

Then I woke up.

Renee.